So this is officially the first post since my return from New York. I'll spare you all the lengthy explanations of my feelings upon my arrival and just say, "Goddam, it sure is great to be home!" Seriously I missed all the old haunts so badly. I mean, I always thought that I appreciated my friends more than most, considering that I suffer from a type of separation anxiety when it comes to them. Still, it takes an inability to see the people you care most about to truly give you a sense of perspective.
Oh yeah, Chris is back bitch!*
*If you are a female reading this, rest assured the previous "bitch" was in no way an attack on your femininity. I'm no sexist! It actually has nothing to do with the female gender at all and is no way an assault on the fact that some humans, girls, may have vaginas. (Tranny?) No, it's merely a well placed swear word to show emphasis on my excitement about my reunion with my brother.
Anywhoodle... Now on to more negative and pessimistic things!
Don't get me wrong, I love the actual holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Thanksgiving is a day completely devoted to my two favorite deadly sins, gluttony and sloth. Then the Lord is born on Christmas, leading to the atonement for my previous sins, and I am given a fresh start with New Years. Basically, the holidays make me feel great. Sure there's the whole: family, hope, love through the giving of gifts, peace on earth and goodwill towards men, mumbo jumbo (which are all great). But if there's one thing I truly love it's my own personal happiness, thus the holidays rule!!
Or do they?
See the thing I hate about this winding down of the year, if you will, is the year end lists that start popping up in musical publications. Whether you're reading Paste or Spin or even browsing the "all powerful" pitchforkmedia.com, everybody wants to sell you on what they thought was "the best" of the closing year. The problem is that their opinions of what is good are completely stupid. The Jonas Brothers couldn't possibly have one of the top 50 records of the year. Just because tweens get all sorts of wet because of their flowing locks, their faux vintage style, and their prepubescent features doesn't mean that their music has any validity or business being called "the best" of anything except the best record to make me want to start my car in my garage with all the doors shut. I mean girls swooned over the Beatles, but they actually created good, new, and innovative pop music deserving of the praise it received. I mean if you can create something as artful as the White Album, I can't fault you for making girls pass out at the mere sight of you, hey man my hat's off to you. Come find me when the Jo Bros start dropping acid and writing music while experimenting with psychedelics, then we'll talk Rolling Stone. As you can probably tell, my animosity towards these lists (and "crappy" pop acts) has been simmering bellow surface for some time now, but this year, 2008, really made that hot liquid squirt out all over the place... just like Yellowstone National Park's ol' Faithful. Rolling Stone Magazine was the worst. I must admit I had lost almost all faith in the publication regardless of it's year end lists, but this years "Best 50 Album of 2008" really hammered the last nail in the coffin (see above Jonas Brothers tirade). I mean come on! My Morning Jacket's Evil Urges at number FOUR? That record sucked, HARD! The Kings of Leon's new TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT RECORD in the top twenty?!? Daaaaa Fuck? Don't even get me started on the robodump "Viva la Vida" at number 7. Come on RS you once stood for something, held validity and all. Amazing bands (the Beatles?) once dreamed of gracing your cover, which is now reserved for the likes of half naked turbo skanks such as Britney and Christina or the Fall Out Bastards, basically the scourge of the universe.
So how will I set things right? By giving you my "real" and "unforgiving" top 20 of 2008. This list will be based solely on what I think sounds awesome. Rest assured it will not be swayed by commercial appeal or accessibility. No, this is a completely narrow list of what I like and you should like too. Am I simply becoming a part of the machine that I am criticizing? Yes I am, a better part. Am I a hypocrite? Probably. But a hypocrite that cares.
Sidenote- Though this list has a number scale it has very little to do with how good these albums are in relationship to each other. Long story short, the following is a list of new records that really kicked my ass this year. I hope this isn't too confusing.
20. Deerhunter - Microcastle/ Weird Era Cont
19. Dr. Dog - Fate
18. Boris - Smile (Japanese Version)
17. Fleet Foxes - Sun Giant EP/Fleet Foxes
16. Danielson - Trying Hartz
15. Deerhoof - Offend Maggie
14. The Music Tapes - For Clouds and Tornadoes
13. Destroyer - Trouble in Dreams
12. No Age - Nouns
11. Times New Viking - Rip It Off
10. Beach House - Devotion
9. Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Lie Down in the Light
8. The Ruby Suns - Sea Lion
7. Sun Kil Moon - April
6. Brightblack Morning Light - Motion to Rejoin
5. Abe Vigoda - Skeleton
4. Mount Eerie - Black Wooden Ceiling Opening
3. Mount Eerie - Lost Wisdom
2. Department of Eagles - In Ear Park
1. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion
Sure, the new Animal Collective doesn't actually drop till the sixth of January, technically making it a 2009 release. But hey this is my list, my blog, my rules dammit. So there... bitch!
P.S. This post is angrier and more aggressive than most just because of the topic it deals with. In summation, if certain vulgarities catch you off guard or offend you well... I'm not sorry... but at least you now know why I used them. I still love the Lord, I promise.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
as soon as i read the word "bitch" I was sorely offended and stopped reading.
Post a Comment