On Re-reading The Catcher in the Rye and My Apparent Similarities to Holden Cauffield...

As you could most likely infer from the title of this here post I have recently completed my re-read of The Catcher in the Rye. I decided that upon arriving in New York City I would revisit this well loved book because it also takes place in this metropolis I am now calling home. Now, despite what you may think as a result of my previous post I'm not one to jump on bandwagons that easily. In fact, I pride myself in the opposite. As a result, I was reluctant to read the above mentioned novel, T.C.I.T.R. let's call it, in the first place. I picked it up at a local Border's last summer and casually made my way through it. Now don't get me wrong, I thought the book was great back then, real funny and all, but I guess in my heart I really couldn't see what all the hype was about. I just catalogued it in my head as a humorous and engaging book. I did not have the same experience with this read. Basically, I finished the book in two days after a nonstop, no holds barred, read for all.

A. Sidenote! As a result of this literal nonstop reading frenzy I have realized that I have truly become a New Yorker.
Why you may ask has this event illuminated such a transformation? Well because I am now able to simultaneously:
listen to music, travel on the subway, determine route, make appropriate subway switches, avoid pickpockets and would be muggers, turn down solicitations for both useless items and cocaine, and order and eat McDonald's, without lifting my eyes from the page or interacting with a single person!

a. Actually, that may be somewhat of a hyperbole, because I have to talk to the McD's employee when I order, but rest assured I don't look at him or her.

The reason this read struck such a chord with me was because I saw a reflection of myself in Holden Cauffield, the main character. See, like Holden I have grown cynical of most of the world that surrounds me. I tend to formulate judgments which lead to my eventual hatred of most things and people. I frequently say inappropriate things at inopportune moments for the sake of a good laugh. I just about chain smoke every chance I get. And last but not least, I ultimately want to help and save people but am unable to because I close myself of to the world in my cynicism. At this realization I began to sink into a certain kind of melancholy.

Am I a total asshole?

Or if not an asshole then a prick?

And if not a prick then maybe a jerk?

Who knows?

Actually I do! I know that for the most part I am a good and kind person. Sure I have my moments of being annoyed with "phonys" in this world but who doesn't. Unlike Holden I am not always in that super depressed "I hate the world and everyone in it" mood. I guess in actuality I could be seen as a foil of Holden. Where he is bitter and unpleasant a majority of the time with sporadic glimpses of happiness, I tend to be joyous with moments of bitterness, and hey I'm okay with that. Yet, this muddy reflection still allows me to see the parts of my personality that are crappy for others to experience and I want to try and do away with them. I want to be a better human.

So, in summation, my re-read had a similar effect on me as my viewing of MTV's The Real World. It is entertaining at first because the people are such terrible excuses for human beings. You're lucky if at least one somewhat witty and humorous cat lives in the house, but if there is they usually knows it so they gets real cocky. (That's my New Yorker accent coming out when I'ms heated up. See I have integrated!) You'd think that would turn me off to the show, right? However the reason that I become fixated and drawn into it (The Real World) is because it affirms me as a human by allowing me to see how much better of a person I am than those who I am viewing. Just kidding, that was a joke, kinda. But really it highlights the bad qualities I see in myself, catalyzing self improvement. And as a result I have more compassion for the world around me. So that my friends... that is why I love both T.C.I.T.R. and MTV's The Real World... Because they make me want to be a better person. Them and Jesus...

Until next time amigos and senioritas...