So last night the boys and I (and when I say boys I mean Caitlyn and her boyfriend David) had a rather pleasant evening of G-D Tiger Beer and The Big Lebowski. (Praise Allah! That's right the G-D liquor store across G-D the street carries my favorite G-D beer!) With that said here's the play by play:
(10:30 p.m.) After knocking a few back (precisely two) and finishing the film I decided to head back to my room early to call it a night.
(10:41 p.m.) Face washed, teeth brushed, and dawning some nice shorts (to beat the heat) I settle into bed to watch Oh, Brother Where Art Thou? and fall asleep. (Not only was my top beer generously stocked across the street but my favorite film was on basic television! Thank you Vishnu god!)
(11:07 p.m.) Despite the allure of the flashing screen I fall into a deep slumber.
(1:30 a.m.) Out of the cavern of sleep I hear the faint call of a voice. I awake to the genius that is my ring tone. Smiling, I look to see that one Spenser David Canada is calling and I attempt to answer the phone. Not in time.
(1:32 a.m.) Having missed it, I call Spenser back and we have a nice albeit brief conversation about the details of our present lives and how he's moving to San Francisco in a week. This little chat took place in my bathroom as I didn't want to wake my sleeping roommate. After a few minutes we say our goodbyes, our take it easys, our hang in theres, our good lucks, and our I love you's and hang up our phones respectively.
(1:45 a.m.) Upon placing my Sidekick Cellular Device on the night stand I get back into bed. I start to think about Spenser and his move to his own Big City. Big Gay City's more like it. I think how like me he's packing his shit and heading out of town. (Pardon the romantic language) I realize that I'm scared for him. I've seen so many people lose good years of their lives to that hell. Obviously that's not the case with everybody and I have faith in Spenser, lots of it, and I'm not saying I don't. I guess it's just the fact that my move came after months of careful consideration and prayer. My move was about working hard at something and was spurred by an opportunity and a chance to do so in an amazing new place. Spenser's move though, is somewhat off the cuff. Just so sudden. Perhaps it's out of a lack of anything else to do. Who know's? I hope he loves it. I hope he has a lot of fun. I hope he makes it with himself intact. I just have the feeling that once he leaves I'll never see him again.
(1:52 a.m.) I have thoroughly thought my thoughts and begin to fade to the land of Nod (sleep).
(1:52:45 a.m.) An extremely terrifying sound jaunts me out of my almost sleep and leaves me petrified, heart racing while cold sweat begins to pool on my back.
From that point forward I didn't sleep one wink. Now this may seem like your standard issue can sleep because of strange sound, which would have been fine. Everybody gets scared sometimes and can't sleep, right? Wrong! Rest assured this was far worse (and funnier I might add) than that.
(Hang in there folks this is the last movement of this symphony of language)
So my initial and long-standing thought, I'll humbly admit, was that my roommate was a demon. Why my mind went there I'm not sure but it scared the shit out of me nonetheless. I literally almost crapped the bed. I tried to be rational and to use reason.
"He's just snoring. Yeah just a regular old run of the mill snore."
"That's not a snore! Thats a voice of Hell. I think he just told me to f-off."
Not to flattering I know. So convinced that a fallen angel lay in the bed next to me I had to decide what to do. My initial thought was to rebuke it, call on the name of the Lord out loud and all. But perhaps that would have been to rash, or perhaps not rash enough, I mean this is a goddam demon were talking about here. I'd pounce on it first, beat it up before it could get to me. Yeah a preemptive strike. Fight fire with fire you know? I seriously considered this for 5 minutes. Luckily I then came to my senses. There wasn't any demon, not that they don't exist just this wasn't one believe me. My roommate was either snoring or choking on something, but that was it. As I laid for countless hours, tossing and turning, I couldn't help but ponder the power of the human mind. It has the ability to change one's entire perception of reality based of a single stimuli, in this case sound. It truly defies all reason or logic and forms a perpetual perceptual spiral. I mean come on how could I possibly mistake this guy for a demon?
My roommate Ario Elami. Courtesy of google.
The real mind bender is how upon hearing a loud snore I didn't think first of Heavyweights.
Until next time garçons et filles...
6 comments:
Daina and I heard a noise around 12:45 and lay awake all night talking about demons, too.
Unfortunately, we couldn't blame our roommate, since we were both awake.
wow, so when you google your roommate that is the picture that comes up? all you get when you google me is some washed up baseball player. Now I am off to discover which hilarious site hosts this picture of, Ario, is it?
make up your mind, do you want to have a blog or not? I need more wit in my life.
I dunno...his hair is red. You know what else is red? Fire. You know where fires from? Hell.
I mean, you sound like a pretty horrible person in this blog TBH. I wonder about someone who thinks it is fun to publicly ridicule someone for snoring and put their photo online, too. Really not cool. Maybe you could delete this now that more than 12 years have passed, and you're--one would hope--more mature and less snarky.
Post a Comment